Lose Yourself
by Gilmoregirl7878
Summary: A year ago, Rory Gilmore dropped out of Yale, cutting off all contact with her family and her three best friends, Logan, Colin, and Finn. What happens when they and their friend Tristan stumble upon 'Leigh' with captivating blue eyes in a bar a year later
1. Chapter 1

Title: Lose Yourself

Author: Gilmoregirl7878

A/N: Hello all! This is my new story! I'm sorry to those who wanted another pairing. I'm sorry, but I voted fair and square. This story has all socialites in it though! It is a Trory, too. Anyways, as always...

**THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW BEFORE READING STORY**!

1. Rory quit Yale the end of her third year (you don't know why though, its different from the show and it is now a year later

2. She and never dated Logan, but they were like brother and sister, the same with Colin and Finn.

3. No one had any contact with her afterwards, she just 'disappeared'.

Okay, that is about it, anyways, I hope you enjoy this fic, it's different from I've ever read. Okay, now a **A/N: for all my readers who have read my stories **before, I have been feeling better lately, but, I had a job interview Thursday, then the boss who owns all the bookstores, the one that I want to get a job at, has this Publisher's Dinner this Sunday, it's where people go and talk about their upcoming books. I'm so nervous! I haven't even gotten the job yet. I haven't even met the Owner, I had an interview with the Manager of the store I want to work at. NERVOUS! And today I had/ve depending on when I finish this, a football game, my brother's. Our team is going for SECTION 9 CHAMPIONSHIPS! WOO HOO! Sorry, we haven't been there in like, five years. And I don't think we won it. We are all excited. Okay sorry I'm done, here's the story!

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Rory finished putting on the charcoal black eyeliner on heavily. She looked over looked her make up one last time before hurrying out of her room.

She was late.

She yelled at her roommate to hurry up or they were going to be late. Even more than they already were.

"I'm coming. I'm coming. Geez Leigh, you would think that being what were are, you wouldn't be so anxious to get to work."

"I just don't like to be late!" Leigh, or Rory argued smiling.

"Well I do!" Jenna said smirking walking back into her room and taking her sweet time getting dressed.

"You bitch!" Leigh yelled laughing.

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Meanwhile..

"Yo dumbass! You are such a girl! Get out of the fuckin' bathroom already! We wanna go! Don't worry I'm sure your hair looks perfect!" Logan yelled to the closed door.

"Don't be so damn jealous because my hair is so much prettier than yours." Tristan said smirking coming out of the bathroom.

"Please, you spend an hour in there just doing your hair when you don't even put any hair spray or gel in it. You just mess with it with your hands, and it ends up looking the same as before." Colin said from his spot on the couch.

"He's right mate." Finn said from lying, spread out on the floor.

"Bite me."

"Not unless your Jessica Alba." Logan said walking past him opening the door.

"Common, get off your lazy asses!"

"Slave driver." Finn mumbled walking out the door.

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Rory was standing in front of her mirror at her job, seeing if her outfit looked okay.

"Leigh, common, we only have a couple minutes. You look hot." Jenna said smiling at her best friend and roommate.

"Don't I always?"

"Sometimes, just not as much as I do."

"Of course."

"Obviously!" Jenna said grabbing her friends arm and leading her out of the room.

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The guys sat down at their table towards the back of the room and had just finished getting their drinks from the bar.

"So, Tristan, how does it feel to be twenty-three?" Colin asked. They had come to the club to celebrate Tristan's birthday.

"Pretty good. I don't see why you guys had to drag me here, though."

"Well you can imagine who's idea this was." Logan said rolling his eyes.

"What? This is a wonderful place to be. Drinks and girls! Who would want anything more?" Finn protested, making them all laugh.

"'lo boys, I'm Clair and I'm supposed to be getting your drinks, though it looks like you've already accomplished getting them." She said noticing the drinks in their hands. "Well, if you need any more drinks, just let me know, I'll get them for you from now on."

"Tell me, are you gonna be going on, tonight?" Finn said smirking at the red-head.

"I'm on after Leigh."

"Who's Leigh?" Tristan asked her.

"Eyes on the stage boys," She said smirking at them, walking away.

They boys watched the beautiful brunette on the stage dancing. They all were slightly confused to why she looked familiar...

...that is, until they saw her eyes...

Their eyes widened in realization and shock.

"Holy shit."

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A/N: Whattyda think? I know, short. They usually aren't that short, but I didn't want to give away too much on the first chapter.

REVIEW!

Review and I'll continue, if I don't get a lot of reviews, I'm thinking of taking it off. I don't know...let me know what you think! I've never written one like this yet.

IMPORTANT!

please help! Is anyone having trouble with Fanfic? I haven't been getting my Story Alerts or review alerts, or anything. Is that happening to anyone, or is it justme? PLEASE LET ME KNOW! It's drIving me crazy!


	2. Mary Indeed

Title: Mary Indeed

Author: Gilmoregirl7878

Disclaimer: Nadda

A/N: I loved my response! All of you are so nice! Thank you so much!

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Rory had just finished out on the stage and was getting re-dressed to waitress for the rest of the night.

She was wearing a black leather mini that barely covered her ass and a corset top that 'pushed up' a lot.

She went down stairs and grabbed her pad and pencil, and sat down at the bar, she had a couple of minutes before she really had to work.

Perfect time for a drink..

She made herself a screwdriver, going easy on the soda, and was enjoying it when a guy came up to her, no surprise...

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The socialites were watching the girl they all had once known.

"That's her, right?" Colin asked the rest of them.

"It has to be, I mean, it is...but Rory? Doing something like this?" Logan said unbelievingly.

They all watched as a guy came over and groped her immediately. They watched as the girl put on a smile and took the guys hands off her, saying something that made him laugh.

"Would Rory let a guy do that?" Finn asked.

"The Rory I knew wouldn't, but when was the last time any of you last saw her, and especially the way you guys said she left...it's possible. Or, she has a twin running around." Tristan said, never taking his eyes of his Mary..

Mary indeed...

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Rory finished her drink and started to get to work with the tables. Flirting with the men and getting their drinks.

"Hey Leigh, I'm on in a couple minutes, will you take my tables?" Claire asked Rory.

"Sure, gimmie your pad so I know what they ordered."

Rory looked down at the reading, damn, she had messy handwriting.

She got four drinks and was still looking at the piece of paper making sure she had the drinks when she reached the table.

"Hello boys, Claire's going on so I'm your waitress for tonight, I'm Leigh-

Rory stopped and almost dropped the now empty platter when she saw who exactly she was serving.

Logan, Colin, Finn...and was that Tristan DuGrey?

Shit, shit, shit.

"Um, I'm Leigh and just holler if you need a drink. Well bye!" Rory rushed, hurrying off.

'_Way to be vague, Rory. Maybe they don't remember me? Yeah, and maybe Hell will freeze over.'_ She thought bitterly.

She grabbed a shot glass off from the bar and poured some tequila, her medicine for a bad night. The burning liquid slid down her throat and soothed her.

A little later, she had avoided their table, asking someone else to bring them their drinks. She had a fifteen minute break, so she was counting her tips when someone came over to her.

"Yes?" She asked not looking up.

"Rory?" He asked.

Rory was about to say 'yes?' but realized who she was now, and who was asking her.

"I'm sorry, my names Leigh. Don't worry, you're not the first to forget my name." Rory said chuckling, still not giving in.

"I know that for a fact, Mary." Tristan answered.

"Again, the name's Leigh." She protested weakly.

"Oh come off it. We all recognized you. Just..we'll be here until your shift ends, please just let us talk about it." Tristan pleaded.

Rory was silent.

"I have to get to work. I only have two more hours, 'til I'm off." She said vaguely, getting up and going to her tables.

Tristan sighed and walked back to his table.

"Well?" Finn asked, when he sat down.

"She said she gets off in two hours, but didn't admit to being Rory." He told them.

"Why is she a stripper? What happened?" Colin asked no one in particular, just voicing the questions that were all on their minds.

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A/N: hehe, I'm being evil and messing with you guys, making you guys wait for the big confrontation between all of them. Hehe, Well I was a devil for a reason on Halloween. Hehe

anyways, I can't do shout outs right now, but I promise I will have them in the next chapter!

Love you all, please review!


	3. Some Things Change

Title: Some Things Change

Author: Gilmoregirl7878

A/N: Hello all! I'm loving my feedback! I have to admit, I'm completely making this story up as I'm going. Usually I have a idea of what's gonna happen, but this is totally random. Tell me how I'm doing! Haha

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So she lied, it wasn't the first time she'd done it.

Actually, she didn't like that fact that she could lie so easily nowadays. She remembered there was a time when she couldn't lie well. It was a simpler time.

She dropped off her things in the back of the bar and snuck out the back door with Jenna, to avoid the Yalies.

"So, explain to me agian, why we are going out the back?" Jenna asked her roommate and best friend.

"Because, it was the closer door from us." Rory lied, not wanting to tell Jenna that the reason they were going through the back was to avoid four guys from her past.

Jenna was about to say something else, but was interrupted.

"Rory!" Was heard behind the two girls. Rory froze for a second before continuing walking.

"Rory!" He yelled agian, coming up behind them and grabbing Rory's arm.

"Her name is Leigh." Jenna said confused.

"It's okay Jen." Rory said, pulling Tristan away from Jenna to talk to him.

"What do you want." She asked immediately.

"You just left? You weren't even going to say something to us." Tristan gestured toward the Yalies down the street, who were watching, but not coming over, not wanting to overwhelm Rory.

"I don't know you guys any more. You don't know me. Christ, I haven't even seen you in five years!" Rory yelled, but quieted when she saw that Jenna was watching them curiously, which Tristan noticed.

"Leigh? She doesn't even know your real name? Tell me Rory, do any of them know that you're a Gilmore?"

"Why would they?" She shot back.

"This is crazy! Good-bye Tristan." She said quickly and walked away.

Tristan walked back to the guys, defeated.

"At least she's admitting that it's her now." Tristan said to them.

"Well, I say it's time to see where our Rory lives." Logan said getting into their car, for they hadn't brought the limo, and driving toward the direction that Rory was heading in.

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"Would you just tell me who that guy was!" Jenna asked.

"No, it's not important, we went to school together, end of story."

"Fine whatever." Jenna said sticking her tounge out at Rory.

'Sorry." Rory said, still upset about that nights events, went into her room and shut the door, putting on some music to comfort her and get into some comfortable clothes.

Jenna had just finished changing when there was a knock at the door.

When she answered, she saw the guy that Leigh was talking to earlier plus three more.

"Can I help you?"

"Does Rory-

"-Leigh. Does Leigh live her?" Colin cut off Logan.

"Yea, just a minute." Jenna said looking suspiciously at the guys in front of her and wen to get Rory.

"Leigh. Lei-gh! LEIGH!" Jenna yelled at Rory's door, trying to get her attention over the music in the room.

'What!" Rory said finally opening the door.

"You have guests," she said obviously, pointing the guys who were watching the scene from across the room. "They look rich." She said bluntly.

"No shit." Rory said rolling her eyes playfully at Jenna.

"Well, I'm off to see my Lover, love you. Nice meeting you, who ever you guys are." She said kissing Rory's cheek and leaving. Her 'lover' was her boyfriend of a year and a half. They were so much in love it was nauseating.

"Bye. Tell Jack I said hey." Rory said to her roommate.

" You can actually come into the apartment you know, you can sit down." Rory said rolling her eyes at them when they stood uneasily by the now closed door.

They all sat down in the living room.

"So, stalking now?" Rory asked them.

"We had to talk to you." Logan said.

"Of course you did." Rory said sarcastically.

"What happened. You just disappeared of the face of the Earth. You dropped out of Yale, stopped talking to your Mom." Logan said perplexed.

"I'm aware of who I do and don't talk to, thanks."

"Love, what happened?" Finn asked her.

"Things change, I couldn't stay at Yale though." Rory said quietly.

Everyone was quiet for a minute, not knowing exactly what to say.

"Want a drink? I need one badly." Rory said suddenly, getting up and heading toward the Kitchen.

"Oh god, me too love!" Finn agreed.

"It's nice to see that some things never change." Rory laughed a little and had the trace of the first smile they had seen that night.

Rory came back and gave Finn a beer, which was all they had, and opened one up for herself, seeing that no one else wanted one.

"So, what happened that you stumbled upon the bar?" Rory asked them.

"It's DuGrey's twenty-third birthday, and it was Finn's idea for a Strip..." Logan trailed off, not wanting imply that she is a Stripper, which she was.

"A Strip Joint?" Rory finished, fairly amused.

"Yea.." Logan said, embarrassed.

"Well, that sounds like you, Finn. Happy Birthday Tristan." She said.

"Thanks." Tristan said smiling charmingly at her.

Rory was about to say something to him when the phone rang, she excused herself and answered.

From what the guys heard, it wasn't a pleasant conversation.

"Hello?...I thought I told you-...stop...because...we broke up!...leave me alone!" Rory said suddenly, hanging up the phone.

"Um, I'm tired so, why don't you give me a call and we'll meet up again. Okay?" She said, suddenly looking very tired.

They looked very concerned, but agreed, getting her number and leaving.

All of them were wondering who that guy was on the phone.

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A/N: Finally! The conversation between them! Although it isn't getting to the good parts yet. Hehe. I'm being evil. So, I will try to update soon, but I have blood testing tomorrow then work for five hours right after, then there's Thanks Giving, then Friday I have a sonogram and to work again. Yuck.

I am having surgery one my uterus, so I have a lot of blood tests done right now, it really sucks. I'm throwing up almost every day and there's a lot of other stuff that really sucks. I have to force my self to eat everyday because I'm losing dangerously too much weight because I can't keep anything down. It sucks. I just want to get this operation over with.

Lukelorelailuva160 - OF COURSE! Haha

Soph - The club is in Hartford.

Caitlin - I'm planning on it being a Trory.

For those who want to know all the answers - hehe You'll just have to wait! I'm evil that way!


	4. Smile

Title: Smile

Author: Gilmoregirl7878

A/N: Hehe, all of you are dying to know who that guy on the phone was, well you're gonna have to wait a little longer, he doesn't come in, I think till a little longer, but maybe he'll be mentioned.

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Rory was enjoying her relaxing weekend off from work, sitting at a local Coffee shop not far from her apartment. Well at least she should have been. Her mind was swimming with the fact that Logan, Colin, Finn, and Tristan were back in her life.

Especially Tristan.

She hadn't thought about him years. Okay, so that was a lie. She thought of him from time to time. Just about every blonde haired, blue eyed guy came into the bar.

She never could explain why someone who she claimed to hate so much plagued her so much. He was just a nuisance to her at Chilton, why should he have an impact on her life?

Seeing Logan, Colin and Finn agian sent her mixed feelings. She was so happy to see the three who she loved more than anything, who made her dare to do things that she never imagined she could or would do. And just have fun and relax.

Those times at Yale were the happiest times in her life.

But, things change. People change. Nothing can stop that. She just wished that things didn't have to change so much.

They probably thought she was terribly unhappy and sad at what she does right now. But, she wasn't.

Sure it wasn't being a Yale graduate working at Times Magazine getting lots of money, but it paid good, and she was on her own.

Just maybe to much on her own.

She loved Jenna, she was her best friend, but Jenna didn't even know her last time. She didn't know her last name. She knew her name was Lorelai, but didn't know that she was called 'Rory'. Rory just told her to call her Leigh.

She was so grateful for Jenna to be so understanding when Rory didn't tell her about her last name or her history. Jenna was just like that.

While Rory was mulling these thoughts over, she didn't notice someone sit down from across her.

"Love." Finn said, causing Rory to wake from her thoughts and look at Finn surprised.

"Finn! What are you doing here?"

"Well, I was on my way to your apartment when low and behold I saw Rory Gilmore drinking coffee. Imagine my surprise. Nice to see some things don't change." Finn told her smiling.

"But some things do." Rory told him, smiling sadly.

"Yea, things do. But, it's how you react to those changes, that defines who you are." Finn told her, not pushing her and what happened.

"Were you this wise last year?" Rory tilted her head at him, smiling.

"No, I was probably too drunk. But, using you're words against you, things change."

"So, what happened last year at Yale?" Rory asked.

"Well, it was the same really, much more boring with out you though, but you know parties, girls, LDB, although Tristan transferred, other than that, the usual."

"And total bullshit." Rory said staring at him, while he smiled weakly, and avoided her eyesight, ordering a cup of coffee from the waiter.

"What really happened?" Rory asked, knowingly.

"It wasn't the same without you. We were all a mess with out you. Logan especially, he missed his 'Ace'. He and Lore...He searched for a long time for you. You're a hard person to find." Finn told her truthfully, taking a sip of his drink that had just arrived afterwards.

He was going to mention Lorelai, but thought that wouldn't be a good idea. Just because he didn't want Rory to ask about her. He didn't want to have to tell her that Lorelai was quiet and depressed for a long time after Rory had disappeared, distancing her from everyone but Luke and the Yalies. Lorelai was now engaged to Luke, but refused to marry him until she found Rory.

Luke being the great guy he was, understood completely and he himself, took Rory leaving pretty hard himself. She was like a daughter to him.

"I missed all you guys." Rory confessed.

"Who can blame you?" Finn joked, causing Rory to laugh.

"Why don't you call all of them. We can go to a bar tonight, just like the old times." Rory asked Finn.

"I think that would be great, they're all dying to see you again."

"Just no serious questions, okay? Tonight is just fun." Rory warned.

"Just fun. We know how to do that. And if you really want a good time, I'm sure Tristan is willing to make sure you have some fun." Finn winked and smirked.

"You guys knew each other in High School right?" Finn asked her.

"Yea, he called me Mary and drove me insane."

Finn was inwardly shocked. They had all heard about his Mary. They just didn't know that Rory was his 'Mary'. He had told them that he actually liked this Mary, which was a lot coming from him when he was High School.

"Mary? Really."

"Yup, did you ever call a girl Mary?" Rory asked, laughing.

"No, that is DuGrey's thing. I think Colin once called Steph a 'Mary' but that was one time when they were fighting."

"Imagine that."

"Yeah, Colin was mad at Steph for flirting with some guys, and called her a slut and all that. Somehow, him calling her Mary came up once during their screaming at each other."

"Are they still together?" Rory asked.

"Yup, they broke up for a while, but got back together shortly after."

"Good, they're good with each other."

"Yup. Well, hate to cut this short, but I have to get back and I'll tell the guys about tonight, where and when do you want to meet?"

"How about, the bar called Smile, it's not far from here, and around eight, okay?" Rory told him.

"Sure, sounds great, oh and Rory?" He said, getting up.

"Yea?"

"I meant what I said about things changing, Think about it." Finn told her throwing down enough money to pay for the tip, his coffee, and Rorys'. Leaving Rory to ponder his words.

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At eight o'clock Rory was leaving her apartment in a white skirt and red halter, dressed sexily, but not like she has to while she's at work. But, enough to make any straight guy look twice.

When she entered the bar, the guys were all there waiting at a table. Probably half expecting that she wouldn't show. But she deserved that.

"Hey guys!" Rory greeted brightly, sitting down. Everyone except Finn was a little unsure on how to act, how Rory would act. When Finn had told them it would be just like old times, they accepted that. Except Tristan. Who didn't know what the 'Old Times' were and didn't know what to expect.

"Ace, you're looking beautiful as ever." Logan greeted, with a large smile.

"Always the charmer, Logan?" Rory teased.

"Only to a beautiful girl."

"Oh Logan, if you didn't have a chance back then, you don't have a chance now."

Rory smirked when he got a defeated look on his face and everyone laughed at Logan.

"Well, what are we drinking to?" Colin asked when they got their drinks.

"To change." Finn said, catching Rory's eye across the table and keeping it when while they toasted and drank. Everyone noticed, but didn't say anything.

"So, how's life, Rory?" Colin asked afterward.

"Can't complain. How about you Colin? How's Steph, I heard you two are still together."

"I'm doing pretty good, Steph's driving me crazy, like usual, but hey, the sex is good." Colin joked.

"You're a pig."

"That'll never change!" Logan cut in, causing everyone to laugh.

"And Tristan, what happened after you left me as Juliet?" Rory asked, smiling at him.

"Military School, which had more partying than Chilton, so that backfired on my Father's part. Then Princeton, but I transferred last year to join these assholes." Tristan summarized.

"Sounds good." Rory said nodding.

"Rory, any men in your life?" Colin asked.

"Besides my fuck-buddies?" Rory asked.

The guys stared at her, not knowing what to say.

"Kidding."

"Oh, I knew that." Finn said loudly, causing Rory to start laughing.

"No, seriously, I had a boyfriend a couple months ago, but other than that, just some non-serious things." Rory said shrugging.

"You do non-serious?" Tristan asked.

"Yup."

"Really, well, there's a bathroom back there..." Tristan suggested.

"I'll meet you back there." Rory said seriously.

"Really?" Tristan asked, smirking.

"Sure, You go back there first, I'll meet you back there."

"You're gonna leave me back there, aren't you." Tristan guessed.

"Yup." Taking a sip from her drink and smiling devilishly at him.

"Evil woman." Tristan said sulking.

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A/N: So, this was kinda a filler. You learn a bit more about the Yalies background. I wanted to put some comic relief into the story, I hope it came out alright.

Anyways, this chapter was pretty long, but the next chapter will have some Trory parts and probably some more drama.

Hope you enjoyed!


	5. Life Can Be A Mirage

Title: Life Can Be A Mirage.

Author: Gilmoregirl7878

A/N: Bad day. Bad, bad day. My wonderful parents strike again. Damn, its hard to write sarcasm. I mean, I didn't know my parents could ruin a Snow Day. It was awesome, I had a snow day the day we were supposed to go back to school after the Winter Break. Now I have school tomorrow. Ew. Anyways, here it is.

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Rory was arguing with Jenna at their table, it wasn't a fight, more of a difference of opinions and lack of knowing what to do. She didn't remember that Logan was due to come over any minute.

She got up, still talking to Jenna over her shoulder, and opened the door, smiling at him.

"Hey, let me grab my coat and we can leave." She told him, leading him in and shutting the door behind him."

"Leigh, we have to talk about this." Jenna continued, getting up from her seat and standing at Rory's doorway.

"No we don't."

"Yes, we do! Leigh, this isn't like before, why don't you-

"No! Listen Jen, after.." Rory trailed off, looking at Logan who was watching them curiously, " Later, okay? We'll talk about it later." Rory promised, walked toward Logan and towards the door.

"Right, I forgot, you don't want you're friends to know about you're life." Jenna said, angrily.

Rory sighed and shut the door behind them, walking out of the hallway silently, as if in a daze.

"Ace?" Logan asked.

"Yea, sorry. Just kinda lost in my thoughts right now." Rory apologized.

"You seemed upset, what's going on?" He asked uncertainly, not wanting to push anything.

"It's nothing that you need to know about." She answered shortly, her face showing no emotion. "So, what are we doing, where are we going?" Rory asked.

"I don't know. I thought we could just walk around for a while, get some food later. Sound good?" He asked, hoping she would agree and they would be able to talk.

"Sure, sounds great." She said truthfully.

"So, how's life been?" She asked.

"Hmm, a couple girls here and there, nothing too exciting."

"A couple?" She asked, laughing.

"I'm insulted, what am I? Some kind of man-slut? Is that what you think of me?" He asked in mock-hurt.

"Yup."

"Nice to know you still know me." He joked, causing Rory to start laughing.

They walked along a little more, until she stopped at one of the shop's windows, looking in.

"Oh my god, those are the most beautiful shoe's I have ever seen." Rory said dreamily.

"Then go get 'em, Ace." Logan told smiling.

Rory recoiled quickly, walking away quickly.

"Nah, I'm good." She said.

"But..." He started.

"You hungry? I'm hungry. Wanna grab something at that place over there?" She pointed across the street.

"Sure." He said sadly, following her.

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"Oh my god, You still eat like that." Logan commented on her large order of food.

"I'm a Gilmore." She said smiling, but it faded when she realized how long it had been since she had last said that.

"Rory, why won't you talk to me." Logan asked seriously.

"What are we doing now?" She joked weakly, hoping to avoid the question.

"We used to be so close, you would tell me everything. What happened to us? What happened to the closeness together?"

"Things change." She said quietly, remembering her conversation with Finn from the other day.

"They don't have to."

"Logan, I didn't want to leave, I just didn't have a choice." She said vaguely.

"What do you mean, you didn't have a choice? What happened?" He asked.

"Logan...I wish I could tell you, but after a year of being silent, it's hard to open up again." She said truthfully. He studied her for moment before nodding.

"So, have you heard anything about Paris?" Rory asked.

"Actually, I have. She and Doyle moved in together." He told her smiling.

"Aw. I miss her. She was one of my best friends...in a odd way." Rory reminisced.

"Are you still going to college, I mean, obviously not Yale, but a smaller college?"

"Um, no. It's just not that important anymore."

"Oh. Ya know, it's funny how things turn out."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I never thought that you would ever not want to go to school. You loved school, you actually went to classes and studied."

"You make it sound like that is just an odd thing. I'll have you know that almost everyone does that." Rory told him as if she was talking to a child.

"You're lying." Logan said dramatically, causing Rory to stick her tongue out at him.

This was the Rory that he remembered, his 'Ace'.

That was short lived however, when someone entered the restaurant, she quickly looked down at the table, becoming silent again. She had that no emotion look on her face again.

"Ace, what's wrong?" Logan asked, confused.

"Noth-

"Well, well, well. If it isn't Leigh...with a guy." A black haired guy said, coming up to their table, eyeing Rory.

"Hi Derek." Rory said, expressionlessly.

"That's all I get, I mean-

"Come on, let's talk outside." She cut him off, looking at Logan quickly and leading Derek outside.

Logan waited for a couple minutes, before getting up and paying the bill, and walking outside. He saw Rory and this guy Derek, arguing about something and decided to go up and see what was going on.

"Ace?" He said, walking up.

"Ace? He has a nickname for you? How cute." Derek remarked.

"Derek-

"No, no. I'll leave you and your new boyfriend alone."

"He's not my boyfriend, damn it Derek!" Rory yelled.

"Of course not. Huh, he looks rich, finally sink as low as being a gold digger, Leigh?" Derek asked, walking away.

Rory watched him leave, frustrated.

"Why did you come over here?" She asked Logan.

"I just was worried-

"Shit, Logan, you can't be worried about me anymore! I have my own life now! I don't need anyone's help!" Rory yelled at him, quickly walking away and calling for a nearby taxi.

Logan watched her go, confused and hurt. Had he lost his best friend?

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Logan walked into his dorm quietly, defeated. He didn't acknowledge his friends and just collapsed in one of the couches in their common room.

"So..how did it go?" Colin asked sarcastically, receiving a glare from Logan.

Finn shot Colin a dirty look and looked at Logan.

"What happened?" He asked.

"I don't know. She was up and down the whole time. One minute she's the Ace that I remember the next she's vague and sad, or yelling at me."

"What did you do?" Tristan asked.

"I didn't do anything, she was arguing with this guy Derek, so I went outside to see if she was alright and she got mad and started yelling that she didn't need anyone's help." Logan said, frustrated.

"Derek?" Tristan asked.

"She doesn't want us to pity her or think that she's helpless." Finn explained to Logan.

"I'm sorry...Derek?" Tristan asked again.

"Yea, he was the guy that she was arguing with, he came up to us while we were having lunch, it seemed like he was an ex-boyfriend or something." Logan explained, finally answering Tristan.

"Maybe the guy that called her the other night?" Colin supplied.

"Who knows. Finn, you're gonna have to talk to her again. She always was nicest to you." Colin told him, who nodded.

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Rory walked into her apartment, tired and in a bad mood, she groaned when she saw Jenna on the couch, knowing that the conversation they were having was gonna start up again.

"Why are you here so early?" Jenna asked.

"Derek happened." She said.

"Oh. I'm sorry hun."

"Whatever. Anyways, before you say anything, I'm gonna say..NO."

"Leigh! Come on! You have to, it's the perfect time to do it. You deserve it." Jenna pleaded.

"I don't deserve anything!" Rory yelled, walking into her room and locking the door, turning on her music full blast that signified that the conversation was over for now.

Jenna silently screamed and stormed out of the apartment, going to Jack's.

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Rory was in her pajamas, watching TV, because it was her night off, when someone knocked. She opened the door and was surprised at who she saw.

"Tristan...what are you doing here?"

"Well, I heard about that thing with Logan, and wanted to see how you were." Tristan said truthfully. He hadn't told any of the guys that he was coming over here.

"Oh, that's sweet, I'm fine. Just a bad day is all." Rory told him, shutting the door behind him and sitting down on the couch again.

"Having fun doing nothing?" He asked, laughing.

"Oh god yes, it's wonderful." She said truthfully.

"Not working tonight?" He asked, causing her to tilt her head, studying him, smiling appreciably.

"Thank you." She said.

"For what?"

"For actually asking about what I do, and not avoiding it like everyone else." She explained.

"Hey, it's a job. I think that it's amazing that you support yourself. I can't imagine it, I live on my credit cards." He told her truthfully.

"You get used to it. I'm sure you would be able to if you had to. I mean, I'm really more of a waitress then a dancer at the club, I've only had to go on stage maybe three times, because the other girls couldn't."

"That's good."

"Yup...enough about jobs and boring crap, tell me something remotely exciting that's happened to you." She said, getting comfy on the couch, smiling expectantly, causing Tristan to laugh.

"Where to start, with Colin, Finn, and Logan...it's never boring."

"Amen to that brother." She concurred.

"The Life and Death Brigade initiation was...certainly interesting."

"How many girls did you sleep with from the Brigade?" She asked bluntly.

"I never kiss and tell, Gilmore." He smirked.

"Oh come on, between old friends."

"We were friends?"

"No, I had a thing for you." She admitted.

"Wait, what?" He stuttered.

"What, you didn't know? I thought you did, everyone else did. Even Dean! I didn't know until a month or so after you left." She admitted.

"Wow, no, I didn't know. I thought you hated me. You told Dean you hated me, didn't you?"

"Yea, but I was lying."

"So what was it, my good looks, astounding wit, my irresistible charm?" He asked egotistically.

"Nope, your modesty." She said sarcastically.

"Okay, okay, honestly, why?"

"I don't know, you were different from Dean and everyone else I knew."

"Rory Gilmore liked me." He said to himself, smirking.

"Oh god, I just inflated your ego, didn't I?"

"What ego? I have no ego." He said haughtily.

"Sure, sure. Want a drink? Jenna bought some Vodka the other day." Rory asked, getting up and getting the drinks.

"Sure, one couldn't hurt." He answered.

It wasn't until that night when he woke up and looked down the sleeping girl next to him in the bed, that he realized one drink could hurt.

"Fuck." He whispered.

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A/N: Wow, I was gonna stop after the part when Jenna left, but decided to continue, how much do you all love me for continuing? Haha.

I really liked this, and plus I left a really big clue on why Rory left in this. Can anyone figure out what the secret is?

Hehe.


	6. What Mistake?

Title: What mistake?

Author: Gilmoregirl7878

A/N: Hello all, haven't got much to say, so I'm just gonna get to it!

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Previously on Lose Yourself:

_It wasn't until later that night when he woke up and saw the sleeping girl next to him in bed that he realized that one drink could hurt. _

"_Fuck" He whispered._

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Tristan didn't know what to do.

In one hand, he could leave the apartment, leave her wondering where he went, like the coward he felt like at that moment.

Then he could enjoy the moment with Ror y Gilmore, the girl he had wanted since Chilton, until she woke up and freaked out.

He decided to do a medium between the two, he would get up and get dressed and wait for her to wake up. Which is exactly what he did, he waited on the chair that she had in her room, his head buried in his hands.

When Rory woke up, she was disoriented, propping herself up on her elbows, looking around. She smiled when she saw Tristan.

"Hey."

"Rory." Tristan stated, looking up quickly, nervous.

"What's up?" She said casually, her brow furrowing when she saw that her shirt was not to be found, as if knowing she was looking for, he grabbed her shirt that was on the ground near him and threw it towards her.

"Thanks." She mumbled, getting up and grabbing a pair of pants and walking into the bathroom.

"Rory, we need to talk?" Tristan said seriously.

"About what?" Rory called from the bathroom, brushing her hair and taking a mouthful of scope.

"About..." He trailed of confused, thinking it was obvious.

"Last night?" Rory finished, half asking.

"Yeah."

"Tristan, last night was fun, and as much as I hate to admit it, you were good, but we had too many drinks, I mean we polished off all I had in my fridge, and we had sex. It's not a big deal." Rory told him, coming out of the bathroom and looking at him.

"Really?"

"Wow, I never thought I would have to reassure Tristan DuGrey that we had casual sex." Rory joked smirking, walking out of the room into the kitchen to make her coffee.

"No, it's just, well...you never did this kind of stuff when we were younger." Tristan tried to explain.

"Tristan, it's been what, six years since you last saw me in high school? I think I changed." Rory teased. "Want some coffee."

"No thanks, I've got to get back to the apartment."

"Right..." Rory trailed off, thinking about Logan, Finn, and Colin and how they would know.

"I don't have to tell them." He told her, as if reading her mind.

"Could we not...it would just cause, well, you know."

"No problem, actually I think it is for the better, this way doesn't end with any of them killing me." He said thoughtfully.

"They probably would too, they're so protective. One morning I was upset and they all came to my dorm, picked the lock to my bedroom and came in with drinks and chocolate to cheer me up." Rory reminisced, smiling.

"They're good that way."

"I'm gonna get going." Tristan said after a short silence.

"Okay...so I'll see you?" Rory asked uncomfortably, following him to the door.

"I guess...Rory, last night-

"Tristan, stop. It was just having fun, okay? You don't have to make it a big deal for me." Rory cut him off, rolling her eyes. "I'll see you later probably, I'm gonna stop by the apartment to talk to Logan."

"Okay, see ya." Tristan, leaving the apartment, once the door was shut and he was walking away from her door, he said what he had wanted. "It wasn't just casual for me." He whispered to himself.

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A/N: Absolutely horrible, I know. I hate it, but I just have to get through this rough part to get to the good ones.

I love my response, thank you all. You keep me writing.

Hopefully I'll be able to update sooner than last time.

Till next time!


	7. El Tango De Roxanne

Title: El Tango De Roxanne

Author: Gilmoregirl7878

A/N: I know I should update Fate cause I haven't updated that in soo long, but since I had such a short chapter last, seriously that thing was like two pages long, I was so ashamed that I wrote another. Plus I got a REALLY GOOD IDEA, for Tristan and Rory. Seriously, your going to love it!

Maybe some of you know what's to come in this chapter because of the title.

Do you know why I named this chapter El Tango De Roxanne? Serious Brownie points of those who do!

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Tristan walked into the apartment, not before sending a silent prayer that the guys wouldn't be there so they wouldn't be able to interrogate him.

He had no such luck.

"Well, well. Look who shows up. Did someone get lucky last night?" Logan said loudly, causing Finn and Colin to look up from the TV and smirk at him knowingly.

"Since when did you three become a bunch of gossiping school girls?"

"Have you met our mothers? Besides, don't avoid the question."

"Would it be a terrible shock if I said I was with a girl last night." Tristan said sarcastically, thinking back on all the times he was at girls' houses.

"Usually your home by now, like before they wake up." Colin said knowingly.

"Yeah, well I stopped an got breakfast."

"Where?" Colin asked suspiciously.

"Some Diner, a couple blocks from here. I had a cup of coffee and eggs. Done with the questions, now?" Tristan asked irritated by them, walking into the bathroom to take a shower.

"Huh. That's interesting." Logan stated, looking over at the other two on the couches.

"Yeah, especially since Tristan doesn't drink coffee." Finn told them, causing Logan and Colin's eyes to widen.

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"Can I come out now, or are you three still behaving like jackasses?" Tristan asked, coming out of his room after his shower.

"Depends on if you're still acting all PMS-y." Colin dead panned.

"Shut up." Tristan said grumpily, sitting down on the chair.

"Okay, what or who has your panties in a twist?" Logan asked.

"I'm fine."

"Yes, cause your tone gives that away." Finn said sarcastically.

"Look, I just don't want to talk about it, okay? So, no topic, what's going on tonight?"

"Well, we wanted to go hang out with Rory tonight." Colin explained.

"Can't she's working." Tristan said before realizing, causing the other three to look at him in confusion.

"How did you know that?" Finn asked.

"Rory mentioned it the other night, I just have a good memory." Tristan lied unconvincingly, but the boys let it go.

"Whatever, I'm calling Steph back and telling her that I can go to her place tonight." Colin explained, getting and grabbing the phone.

"Tristan, did you have plans in mind?" Logan asked.

"Nah, I was gonna just chill."

"We're going to see Rory in about an hour, I doubt she'll have to work that early, do you know her time schedule, too?" Finn asked sarcastically, staring at Tristan. Almost daring him to tell the truth.

"Ha ha. You're funny." He deadpanned. "I'm gonna take a nap, I'm beat. Tell me when you get back." Tristan left the room.

"What's up with him?"

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Rory was watching old school cartoons, which consisted of Tom and Jerry, telling herself that she had to get up and go to work in a hour, so she had to get up and take a shower.

"Come in!" Rory called to the door when she heard a knock.

"Hello Love! It's the two most handsome men in the world!" Finn called from the doorway, him and Logan entering the room.

"Huh, I don't remember inviting Brad Pitt and...oh, it's just you and Logan." Rory joked.

"Ouch, that hurts Ace."

"Well, you know what they say, the truth hurts."

"Then it's a good thing no one is ever honest anymore."

"It is." Rory smiled at them. "So, what's up?"

"Nothing much, just came to see what is up with the most beautiful girl in the world." Finn said charmingly, sitting down next to Rory.

"Finn, after all these years, you still try to get into my pants." Rory shook her head.

"Doesn't work? Damn, oh well, I'll just go back to the endless line of one night stands, dreaming of my chance with Rory Gilmore." Finn sighed dramatically.

"Just like all the others." Rory played along.

"Rory! Don't! I'm too beautiful to go to waste."

"You're not that beautiful." Logan told him, rolling his eyes, causing Finn to gasp loudly.

"No! My ears!" Finn cried, putting his hands over his ears.

"Logan, stop torturing Finn. Finny, you're beautiful." Rory teased, hugging Finn, who stuck his tongue out at Logan.

"Mature." Logan commented dryly. "So Rory, we came hear to see what you were up too."

"Nothing much, just going to work in an hour. Fun." She said sarcastically.

"That sucks." Logan said, before his cell phone went off, signaling that he had a text message.

"Me and Logan-

"Logan and I." Rory corrected, interrupting Finn.

"_Logan and I_ are completely bored, and are trying to find something to entertain us tonight."

"Dirty."

"Finn! Remember Casey?" Logan asked Finn, excited.

"Do you know me at all?"

"Right...remember the blonde with the really big..." Logan trailed off, looking at Rory's glare. "And she told the three of us that we were the hottest guys she had ever met last week?"

"Vaguely, continue."

"She has a friend and they are dying to throw us a 'party." Logan told Finn, reading the text message he had just received.

"Love you Rory. Logan and I have some business to attend to. Mate, let's go!" Finn jumped out of his seat, kissing Rory's cheek and hurrying out of the apartment.

"You should go before he hurts himself." Rory told Logan, laughing.

"See you later, Ace." Logan said leaving.

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Tristan couldn't stop thinking about her, as much as he wanted to. God, it reminded him of his High school days, he was acting like a love sick teenager. He was in college for chrissake!

He sighed, giving up and got dressed.

He was going to see Rory, he had to tell her what he felt. Even if she didn't want to hear it, which she probably wouldn't, he was going to tell her.

Tristan left the apartment determined. He might be acting like a love-sick teenager, but he wasn't gong to let her go again, like he had when he really was a teenager.

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'_This bites'_ Rory thought, bringing drinks to a table of men who ogled her.

For some reason, she particularly hated her job tonight, found all the men in hear disgusting and loathsome, but she couldn't show it, it was her job.

She knew why, because every time she saw a man in here, she thought of _him_.

He had to show up and stir up feelings that she tried so hard to forget, memories that hurt. Her innocence that she wanted back so dearly.

There was no going back, though.

Not anymore.

Sure, she had played it cool and casual this morning, the fact that he had stayed while she was sleeping was a shock, but he only probably stayed because he felt obligated.

Or he was scared that she would go running to Finn, Colin, and Logan and they would kill him.

Either way, he didn't have feelings for her. He was drunk, so was she. One drunken night, that was it.

That's all she could have anyways, if there was more it just ended badly.

'_Oh yay, another table_.' Rory thought miserably.

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Tristan entered the club and his eyes immediately found Rory, she was serving a table. One of the guys grabbed her waist and pulled her down on his lap, laughing with his friends.

If that wasn't enough to get his blood boiling, she smiled politely and went to get up, but the bastard wouldn't let her get up, now Rory's expression lost it's cool collection.

Tristan walked over there and pulled Rory off the guy, grabbing the guy and pulling him up and slammed him against the wall.

"I think the girl wanted to get up." Tristan said threateningly.

"And I wanted to get off." The guy said cockily, which resulted in him getting punched by Tristan.

"Tristan!" Rory yelled.

By that time the bartender had reached the scene and pulled Tristan away from the man, who was spitting out blood.

"Leigh, what did I tell you about boyfriends!" The bartender told Rory, helping the guy up.

"I'm so sorry Steve, it won't happen again." Rory apologized, pulling Tristan out of the club.

"What the hell is the matter with you!" Rory yelled immediately when they were out of the club.

"Me!" Tristan yelled back, confused.

"Yes, you! You can't just come into the place where I work and do that! That shit could get me fired, Tristan!" Rory screamed.

"That would be a good thing!" Tristan scoffed.

"God dammit, you sadistic bastard! You're so smug, living off Daddy's money! Some of us have to work!" Rory yelled.

"You call that a job, Jesus Rory, all you are in there is a piece of ass!" Immediately as that came out of his mouth he was slapped across the face.

"You asshole, get out of here. I hate you." Rory whispered, staring at Tristan with hate.

Tristan stared back, no anger or emotion what-so-ever in his eyes, it was just empty. And probably the scariest look Rory had ever gotten.

"Fine." He said quietly, walking away from her, never looking back.

Once he was gone Rory hurried into the club, going back into the staff's bathroom. She broke down crying, sobs that raked her body.

She got out her phone and dialed a number that was familiar.

"Hello?" A laughing voice answered.

"Logan?" Rory said in a small voice.

"Rory? What's wrong, are you okay?" His tone immediately changed, scared and concerned for her. She could also here Finn's voice in the background, asking about her.

"Logan, can you come pick me up." Rory asked quietly, a sob escaping her.

"Where are you?"

"The club."

"I'll be there in two minutes, are you okay, hurt?"

"I'm not hurt." She told him '_Physically_' She added in her mind.

"I'll be right there, Rory. Don't worry." Logan promised, hanging up.

Rory rested her head back on the wall, before leaving the bathroom and telling Steve, the bartender and the one in charge when the owner wasn't there, that she was leaving and went outside.

She looked at the people in the streets, waiting for Logan. They all had coats on, for it was a oddly cold spring night. She was wearing the clothes that she wore in the club, which wasn't a lot, but she wasn't cold.

She wasn't anything at all.

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A/N: Intense, right? Well, you weren't expecting an immediately happy ending for Tristan and Rory, were you? If you were, shame on you. You know better than that!

So, I really loved this chapter, I hope you did too!

Please check out my latest story 'How Can Something So Wrong Feel So Right?'

It's really good, if I do say so myself. Haha.

One last question, is anyone else's computer acting weird with FF. I mean, I'm not getting any of my alerts that I should be. Is that happening to anyone else?


	8. Unwell

Title: Unwell

Author: Gilmoregirl7878

A/N: So..wanna hear a secret? Yes? Okay then, well...I have absolutely know idea how I'm going to write this chapter! Haha. This is definitely going to be a hard chapter to write. I mean, the beginning is easy enough, but the rest? I have no idea...hmmm..well let me know how you think I did.

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Rory was staring at a pack of cigarettes that someone had thrown onto the sidewalk since she got off the phone with Logan and was waiting outside. She was in a daze, not knowing exactly what to think about what had just happened, and what seemed like seconds but in actuality was over ten minutes later, Logan and Finn showed up.

She was still staring at the sidewalk when they pulled up and Logan got out of the car, a worried expression on his face.

"Rory?" He asked cautiously.

"Logan? Oh, you're here." She said numbly. She walked toward him and he took his jacket off and put it over her shoulders, it was only then she realized she was shivering.

"Rory are you okay? What happened?" He asked, worriedly searching her for any signs hurt from her. She just shook her head and got into the car.

The ride back to their apartment was silent and they brought her inside, Logan comforted her as she cried later lying in his bed and soon after she fell asleep.

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The next morning when Logan and Finn woke up she was gone.

They went to her apartment but Jenna told them she wasn't home. For a few weeks Logan, Colin, and Finn looked for Rory, stopping by the club and her apartment from time to time, but each time she was no where to be found.

You could say something for her, when she didn't want to be found, she couldn't.

Tristan was coincidently busy whenever the guys went out looking for Rory. They knew something had happened between them, but didn't know what.

"Tristan?" Logan said one day, finding Tristan in his room studying.

"Yeah?"

"Close the book, I need to talk to you." He said, sitting down on Tristan's computer chair.

"What's up?" Tristan asked, already sensing what this was going to be about.

"For the past couple weeks you've been quiet, and we all know it has something to do with Rory, okay? You two aren't fooling anyone. Is it just supposed to be a coincidence that you start acting all weird and she disappears at the same time?" He asked, staring at Tristan who kept his eyes on the floor, but was listening.

"I want to know what happened." Logan told him, sitting back and waiting for Tristan to start talking.

"Logan..." Tristan warned.

"No, don't even start that bullshit! I'm not going to let her disappear again, okay? So start talking or get the fuck out!" Logan yelled frustrated, standing up.

"So that's how it's gonna be?" Tristan challenged, standing up in front of Logan.

"Yeah, that's how it's gonna be!" Logan stared back.

"Jesus, what do you want to know, huh Logan? Do you want to know that I fucked her? Cause I did! That we chalked it up to a one night thing? That she was one of the many? Because she was! I fucked her and then I left!" Tristan yelled.

Logan backed up shocked during Tristan's rant, but by the end his fist had connected with Tristan's chin.

"You piece of shit!" He yelled, and realized that Colin and Finn had entered the room during their fight and were now holding him back. Even though they weren't punching Tristan their eyes matched Logan's with anger towards Tristan.

Tristan rubbed the side of his chin and got up slowly, walking past his friends and out of the apartment.

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After the fight with Tristan, Logan completely gave up, he disappeared to Stars Hollow the following morning, telling Finn and Colin that he would be back in a couple days.

Finn and Colin loved Rory like a sister, but they would never have the bond that she and Logan had once had.

Finn and Colin were going didn't know what to do with themselves. Logan was gone, for now at least, Rory was gone, Tristan was gone...it was just the two of them now.

"No." Colin argued.

"Yes." Finn argued back, smiling all the while though.

"No, Finn! I'm not paying for lunch again!" Colin told him as they walked toward the restaurant.

"Oh come on, Mate. I'm broke!" Finn whined.

"How can you be broke? You have a black card!" Colin cried, rubbing his temples while Finn watched amused, it was so much fun to annoy Colin.

The smile immediately left his face when he stopped walking suddenly, grabbing Colin's arm and stopping him from walking.

"What now?" Colin asked tiredly.

"Is that who I think it is?" Finn asked, pointing to the person in question, all amusement and jokes gone.

Colin followed Finn's finger and stared at her.

It was Rory Gilmore.

Colin and Finn were unsure of what to do for a moment and just stared at her. She was with a blacked haired guy, they were arguing in the street.

"Let's go." Colin said, starting to walk towards Rory and this guy to go see what was up.

"No Colin, don't." Finn grabbed Colin's arm.

"Why not?"

"Because remember when Logan did the same thing? She got pissed. Do you want a repeat?" He asked, glaring at Colin.

"Fine Smart One, what do you suggest we do?" Colin asked bitingly, and Finn had no answer. What does one do when they she one of their best friends who has been avoiding them fighting with some guy in public?

Finn and Colin stayed there, not exactly knowing what to do or if they should approach Rory while she was with this guy, until that is, Rory looked over that black-haired guy's shoulder and saw them staring.

When they noticed she saw them Colin immediately looked away while Finn smiled and waved to her and he swore he could see a smile from her until it vanished and she turned back this guy an said a few words and walked past him.

She walked toward the guys, and hugged Finn when she reached them.

"How have you guys been?" She asked cheerfully.

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A/N: I know, cliffhangers suck! Deal with it though.

Very good news!

I bought a lap top, meaning I'll be doing lots more writing! Plus the three weeks I'll be gone during July I'll be able to write while I'm away! Yay, haha.

But I don't get it for another week and a half ( i have no patience what so ever, and don't wanna wait! Hehe.

Sorry this is so short but I'm in the middle of making another story and my mind is all over the place!

Hope you enjoyed!


	9. Complete Oblivion

Title: Complete Oblivion

Author: Gilmoregirl7878

A/N: I'm so sorry that I haven't updated in over a year, I've been having lots of problems with this story, basically...I hate it and I really don't know where to go from here. Gr...I am trying though!

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"_How have you guys been?" She asked cheerfully._

"Who was that?" Colin asked sharply and Finn punching him in the arm.

"It's good to see you, love," Finn greeted, hugging her.

"It's great to see you guys," she replied, hugging Colin also, who seemed to be more uncomfortable of the two of them.

"Wanna get a coffee?" She asked, gesturing to the shop on the street.

"Sure," Finn agreed for both him and Colin, who had yet to say anything, but followed them anyways.

They got a table and sat down, they sat in a short awkward silence.

"So what are you guys doing today?" She asked, breaking the silence.

"We were going to a restaurant when we bumped into you in the street," Finn explained.

"Colin, do you still try to weasel out of every bill even though you can very well pay for it?" Rory teased Colin, who nodded vaguely.

"So we heard you slept with Tristan," Colin said abruptly.

"Colin!" Finn yelled and Rory looked up sharply.

"What?" She stuttered.

"Yeah, we overhead him and Logan screaming at each other and he blurted that little tidbit out. You know, right before Logan punched him and left to go visit your mother...you remember her right? The woman who gave you life?" Colin continued angrily.

"Colin, shut the fuck up!" Finn yelled, glaring at Colin.

"No, I'm tired of having to walk on eggshells because Rory here might bolt, well guess what, she already has! Rory, you don't see what you've done to the people who love you? Never mind the way Finn and I feel, Logan went through hell when you left and as scared and worried I was for you I also hated you for what you did to him. I never want to see him like that again," Colin continued angrily, staring at Rory who stared at the table top silently.

"Not to mention what you did to Lorelai. She's engaged, Rory. She's engaged to Luke, only she won't marry him until she knows that you can come to her wedding. You disappeared out of the blue and still she's waiting for you, waiting for her daughter because she loves her. Because why? Got bored at Yale, wanted to try something new?" Colin finished scathingly, staring at Rory who had tears falling steadily, she didn't say anything, but looked up towards the direction of the exit.

"Great, do what you always do, run. Except this time, I'm not gonna sweat it and try to find you," Colin snorted, shaking his head in disgust while getting up and walking out.

"Do-do you all think that?" Rory asked softly with her head down.

Finn sighed, it was time to be honest. "Part of me, yes. Logan? Not in a million years. I know for a while Logan blamed himself, as crazy as it seems. Colin's right about one thing, we never want to see Logan like that again. We love you, Rory. Don't forget that, no matter what we'll be there for you...you can't just string us along, it's not fair."

"I never meant to string you along," she said softly and Finn's face softened.

"I know you didn't, but now that you do...," he trailed off.

"I have to go," Rory said regrettably. Finn sighed and shook his head. "It's not like that Finn, I actually do have plans, I'm not running," she tried to reassure him.

"More secrets," he said with a rye smile.

"I'm going to try, Finn. Really, I am. After all this time of living with secrets...it's gonna take a while."

"Okay, I'll see you later?" He asked like more of a question than a fact.

"Yeah, you will," she promised.

In actuality Rory didn't have anywhere to be. She needed to get away from Finn, it brought back too many painful memories. They didn't understand it hurt to be in their presence, an aching hurt deep inside her chest.

She was walking home and was so absorbed in her thoughts she didn't realize someone had approached her.

"They look rich," The black haired guy from earlier stated. Rory flinched and looked at him.

"Go away."

"You know I would never do that."

"Of course, that would just be wishful thinking."

"Hey," he said sharply, grabbing her wrist and pulling her to look at him. "They're your college friends, aren't they? Here to bring you back to your perfect world? Do you really think they'd still want you if they knew the truth? Do you think anyone would want you?" He asked her. Rory was crying and shaking uncontrollably.

"Please Shawn, please leave me alone," she begged. Shawn smirked at her and walked away without another word.

Rory practically ran the rest of the way home to her apartment. She burst open the door of her apartment and Lexy looked at her worriedly.

"What happened, Leigh?" She asked. Rory just shook her head wordlessly. "If it's okay, I really need to talk to you about something," Lexy explained and Rory sat down.

"I was so scared to tell you, but I can't put it off any longer. Well, you know how Jack and I have been going out for a while now...and he proposed. Last night actually. I was on my way to his apartment in a second to celebrate. I said yes, I'm getting married!" Lexy announced.

"Lexy, that's great! I'm so happy for you!" Rory jumped and hugged Lexy.

"Jack and I talked it over and he wants me to move in as soon as possible." Lexy explained sadly. "I'm gonna go back to school, which means that I'll be quitting my job at the bar."

"I'm so happy for you, Lexy. No one else deserves this more than you!" Rory reassured. "Go celebrate with your fiance."

"I'll be home tomorrow so we can talk more. I love you!" Lexy happily called out while leaving the apartment.

Rory was left alone staring at the table top. She wasn't ignorant. She knew that once Lexy got her fairytale ending she wouldn't want to hang out with her ex-roommate who worked at a strip club. The one person she trusted was leaving her.

Rory got up and walked over to the phone, dialing a familiar number.

"It's me. I'll meet you tonight at the club. Bring the stuff."

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Rory walked up to the building and smiled at the bouncer, who nodded at her and let her in. She walked toward the back of the club to the regular booth. When she saw it she nodded towards a more secluded corner when she caught Shawn's eye. He nodded and left his group.

"I knew you would come," Shawn said knowingly. "What do you want?"

"Whatever you have, you know it doesn't matter." Rory replied. He handed over a bottle of pills and Rory held out some folded bills.

"I don't want your money," Shawn said with a smirk, stepping closer to her.

"Knock it off, Shawn."

"You think I didn't see that little spectacle the other night at the bar? Who is he, Rory?"

"No one that matters," Rory replied truthfully.

"I saw the way he looked at you. I also saw the way you looked at him. You used to look at me like that." Shawn continued. Rory rolled her eys and took out one of the pills from the bottle and swallowed it.

"That was before I got to know who you really are." Shawn pushed her roughly up against the wall and Rory fell silent.

"You're mine. Because I'm the only one who will ever want you. I'm the only one who knows the truth. He doesn't know why you left does he? About the pills?"

"No," she whispered.

"Tell me you love me, Rory." He ordered, his face close to hers.

"I love you," she managed. Shawn smirked and lowered his lips on hers, every touch possessive and controlling. Everything fading and dulling as the drugs took hold. Rory found herself not caring about anything again.

After Shawn wandered off, Rory made her way back to her apartment. Her empty apartment.

Except it wasn't empty. As she walked down her hallway to her door she saw Tristan sitting in front of it. He noticed her arriving and stood up quickly.

Rory glanced at him briefly while opening the door to her apartment and letting him in silently. When the door was shut and locked she looked at him.

"What happened to you?" She asked dully.

"Logan found out about that night." He didn't have to elaborate. Rory chuckled softly, finally meeting his gaze.

"That sucks for you." Tristan noticed a change in her but couldn't place it.

"Have you been drinking?"

"Nope, not one drop," Rory assured, and Tristan watched helplessly as she took the bottle and swallowed another pill.

"What are you doing here, anyways?" She asked, walking towards him. "Didn't get enough the first time?" She stopped so their bodies were close.

"What are you taking?"

"Pills of some sort, I'd imagine. Up for another romp?" She asked mischievously.

"You need to sleep." He started.

"Oh stop with that noble bullshit. That has nothing to do with anything. Did Shawn talk to you?"

"Who's Shawn? Rory, I'm not being noble, I'm doing what's right."

"What's right," Rory repeated, rolling her eyes. "Come on, Tristan. You're saying you don't want me? You wouldn't want a repeat?" She asked stepping so their bodies were touching and Tristan had to take every will power he could muster to take a step away from her.

"What happened to you, Rory? You never used to be like this. You were innocent and pure." Tristan asked sadly.

"It was taken from me!" Rory's speech was slightly slurred from the pills. "That part of me is dead, it was killed one night and it's never coming back!" She screamed. Rory closed her eyes and she felt the effects. The numbness and fuzzy feeling was almost all that was left. She took one last look at Tristan before mumbling goodbye.

Rory walked back into her bedroom and fell into bed.

She had said too much already. Now it was time for complete oblivion.

A/N: FINALY! THE CHAPTERS DONE! I want to apologize a million times for how long it took for me to get this up. I am going away for a month in July, but as soon as I get back I will try to keep this up for a steadier pace. Please review!!!!


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